“You always preach kindness, but when it comes to influencers you lash out at the smallest inconvenience. “
In reality, I can consider myself very blessed. Getting to share my stories online and even having this dream job as part of my source of income is no less than a blessing. However, with every great thing in your life, also comes a series of strings attached. And with sharing your life online you most certainly must take online bullying into account.
I am no stranger to criticism and do not oppose it. In fact, I very much appreciate and welcome the odd constructive criticism every now and then, as to better myself and work on being not only a better human being but also a more empathetic human being. When said criticism is delivered in a harsh tone, rarely used for niceties, it becomes frustrating to deal with. I have seen people be total dick heads to many of my online friends and just waited for the day they would start collecting in my inbox.
To be fair, the messages I receive aren’t hugely offensive and do not leave me crying all night. I’m not some million-follower-Instagram-girl that get’s online bullying on the daily. But somehow, I seem to still attract assholes into my timeline and I’m absolutely sick of it.
I do not care if your “ew you are such a hypocrite for posting a picture of a cow and eating meat”, “duh, plastic is bad for the environment. I am disappointed in you for having that take away coffee” and “flying is bad for the environment. You are the worst. Blogger XY would NEVER have done that” messages are meant in a nice way. Because let’s be real, they certainly do not sound like it.
As I said, I am always up for criticism and do know that I make mistakes. I always welcome new information and love to educate myself further. These messages, specifically if they are being written in a demeaning way, do not teach me anything except for the fact that you are being a total dick head right now and need to tear me down in order to feel better about your choices.
I don’t mean to be offensive right now, but it does get exhausting after a time to never be enough. When I read these messages I’m not like “nah, screw that” – I instantly go down the rabbit hole that is my own mind and start to feel guilty and ashamed. I start overthinking every single picture I post and get worried about adding the wrong caption or phrasing something in a wrong way. Comparing me to another blogger, especially if they come from a totally different niche, also doesn’t do favors to my self-confidence and self-worth in this superficial blogging world.
I know most of you mean no harm, but this really is taking the fun out of sharing online. Nothing I do will ever be enough. I once talked about the #plasticfreejuly challenge in my podcast, hence I am never ever allowed to buy plastic again. I sometimes eat a burger and that apparently deems me a bad person. Every once in a while I buy a to-go coffee and forget to bring my keepcup. And yes, sometimes I go on short-distance flights.
But the thing is: I AM HUMAN. And so are you.
I do not plan on being perfect and I never set out to use my blog and social media as a means to talk about these matters. I care. I truly do. But I believe that it is up to each and every single one of us to take action. And by that I don’t mean calling out others when they do make a bad choice, are selfish or do something wrong.
What it means is focusing on becoming a better human, one step at a time. So please, for the love of coffee, stop bullying people online when you think they are not living up to your standards and focus on yourself instead. Or, you know, if you really have something to say, try being nice for a change.
OUTFIT Shirt: Shein* • Pants: Monki • Coat: Orsay (similar) • Shoes: Puma • Bag: Coccinelle
* PR Sample