I’m having an internal conflict at the moment. What a nice way to start off a new “Sunday Chat” column Kerstin, way to go! But honestly… at the moment I very much struggle with body positivity and feeling comfortable in my own skin. I’m constantly switching between wanting to look hot on the beach, having a toned/fit body and not giving a single f*ck whatsoever about what others might think of my body shape and size. Guess that’s the struggle of the twenty something women, right?
You might say that’s not a big deal. There are worse problems out there... But then again, I just don’t feel comfortable in my own skin at the moment and I absolutely hate thinking like that. Modern media and feminism has taught me to stand up for myself, believe in my flaws and spread body positivity. And I do! I love being a fierce, bold, strong and independent woman who doesn’t care what others think. Or at least that’s who I want to be. I absolutely encourage every single woman out there to accept their body and enjoy life to the fullest, rather than being on a stupid diet and restricting herself to calories or a certain way of life. I envy all those #bodypositivity bloggers who showcase their bellies and non-existing thigh gaps in front of the whole world and encourage others to love their body no matter what size they are.
But I never thought about my own body like that. I do enjoy life, I love food and I rarely do sports – this is something that you definitely can see when you see me naked/in a bikini. I’m not fat, nor have I ever been. But I’m not fit or skinny either. I don’t think skinny is the ultimate goal but sometimes I catch myself admiring super toned super models like Gigi Hadid and thinking that I want to look exactly like her. That’s bullshit though. I am me and I am my own kind of beautiful, I know that. But that doesn’t keep me from not feeling comfortable and confident with my body.
I see all these girls – offline and online. And I think they’re beautiful. It doesn’t take more than a second to find their most outstanding feature and to admire them for a certain feature that makes them unique and beautiful. But standing in front of the mirror I find it extremely hard to just look at myself. I can’t help but hate what I see. I do not feel confident at the moment. Winter took its toll on my body. I gained weight, I lost every muscle that I build in the past summer and I got a hella lot of cellulite due to taking the pill for the last year (worst decision ever, but more on that in another post!). And all I can think, staring at my naked body, is “I gotta lose weight before summer comes around.“
And then I realize that there’s a big fault in our society. On the one hand we encourage body positivity but on the other hand we promote “summer bodies” and “bikini body” programs. I feel trapped in an ambivalent world and do not know what to think anymore. I do wanna be strong and accept myself the way I am. But I also want to look good on the beach, have a tones body and post bikini pictures of my perfectly trained body online. Why do I not feel comfortable in the body that carries me through the world, that enables me to think rational and is as healthy as it can be?
We should stop being hypocrites and actually start practicing what we preach! Go on, love yourself and don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Don’t force diets upon you just because society tells you to! Be yourself and start feeling comfortable in your own bodies – not just in winter, but also in summer. Even though I absolutely believe in the need to be more active (duh, tell me about it) and doing sports for fun, I also want to tell you that there’s no problem in having a bit of fluff on your bellies as long as you’re healthy and happy. Don’t let society bring you down and ruin your positive outlook on yourself, as it obviously did with me – you’re so much more than that! Okay, gotta go do some squats to finally get a summer body – see, that’s exactly what a hypocrite I am. Just like the rest of you, the rest of us all. Duh, this society is pretty damn fucked up, isn’t it?
Outfit: Cocoon Jumpsuit via OnePiece.com | Get 20% off your order by using the code “MISSGETAWAY” at the checkout until the 6th of April :)
What do you think about this topic? Are you in favour of feeling comfortable and confident in your own body? Or do you want to lose weight and get fit for the summer? Let’s discuss in the comments below!!